There is a time to stand and fight, and a time not to

Hunted

It is hoped that one lives ones life honourably, well and well enough to avoid skeletons in one's closet. For most of us that is not the case. I am fifty-one years old. I have a successful small business. I have a rich and wonderful life filled with rugby, rugby friends, and a rugby playing son, who will one day soon play for Team Canada.

I was once married in the seventies, a marriage doomed from the very outset. Two twin boys and a girls were spirited away. Their mother did not keep in touch with me, fine, nor the children's dotting grandparents, unforgivable. Nor did the children ever contact the grandparents.

Bill is dead, never knowing those grand kids. Now one son feels compelled to meet his father. He has contacted and threatened my Mother with hiring an investigator. He says "give me" the contact information! He did or does not ask, he demands. He now experiences the imperative to "speak just once to his father". Does he, and why? Why now? Does he have a "right" meet or demand a meeting with his father now after two decades of not feeling this overwhelming imperative to meet "Daddy"

It is not a problem to meet this young man. everyone in my life knows my past, but why after all these years, would I want to? I feel no imperative to meet him or them. I did for many many years, and I did stand-by for a call that never came. In time the children left their mother and were "adopted" by her father and his wife.I felt no hurt, animosity, ill will, or any feeling at all. I am ambivalent.So I find the young man's blog and I see his picture and read some of his views and "musings". I see his picture and read his views re Remembrance Day. I served, my father and his brother landed on Juno Beach on D-Day. My "son" says he "hates" Remembrance Day. He feels outraged that it is all a sham, all hypocrisy and meant solely to shame him and others into guilt about service or sacrifice for something greater than ones self.

It seems to me this young man is what I call "an all about me guy". It is always, all about me. It is always, about what I want, what I think what I think, what I want at any given moment in time.I see his picture and I see his mother. I read his musings and I see poor writing, a poor grasp of history, anger and abject selfishness. I ask myself why? I ask myself, why do I want to meet this stranger? I do not want to meet this stranger. But do I have a duty to meet this stranger?

I do not want to be ever surprised by a call, a letter, a knock on the door, as I do not trust myself to be civil or welcoming. Do I write or e mail him and say, sorry I has been so long and what's the point? I have a son, with whom I play rugby and we drink together and we fight the Godless Druids together (hated rugby rivals)who may wonder will I love him less. I have also daughter who always thinks she is bringing up the rear, and may well have a case.

The problem is, I just don't care anymore, after well over twenty years. If anything I feel anger that these children and their adopted parents did not keep in touch with my parents if they didn't want to see me.

Damn, I hate folks that, for them. it's always about them.